A Time for Reconciliation, Why Do I Need to Confess?

During Advent we prepare our hearts for the coming of the Lord. It's a time to name and confront our sins. When we do this they have less control of us and we regain our true self.
Jesus died so all our sins would be forgiven - the Sacrament of Reconciliation is the process through which we as Catholics do so.

I once had a conversation with my Granny who has been Catholic her whole life. In her old age she had developed this idea that unless she had commited murder or some other 'serious' sin she was free from sin and proclaimed "what could and old lady like me have to confess about." I'm sure that she truly believed this to be true.

I carried this with me for many years and every time I'd go to reconciliation it would be at the back of my mind and I would feel foolish for going. It was only after listening to an Examination of Conscience at one of our parish Reconciliation services that I realized that there are many other ways that we sin each and every day. They may seem completely mundane, (a bit of gossip for example) but anything that distances one from God is a sinful act.

When we sin, we automatically distance ourselves from God. Sin doesn't just affect yourself it affects the whole community. Before we go to reconciliation we need to truly look at oneself and see where we are doing good and to look at areas where we need improvement.

An examination of conscience for you to use as a guidline for your own reconciliation:

1] I am the Lord your God. You shall not have strange gods before me.

* Do I give God time every day in prayer?
* Do I seek to love Him with my whole heart?
* Have I been involved with superstitious practices or have I been involved with the occult?
* Do I seek to surrender myself to God's Word as taught by the Church?
* Have I ever received Communion in a state of mortal sin?
* Have I ever deliberately told a lie in confession or have I withheld a mortal sin from the priest in confession?

[2] You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain.

* Have I used God's name in vain: lightly or carelessly?
* Have I been angry with God?
* Have I wished evil upon another person?
* Have I insulted a sacred person?

[3] Remember to keep holy the Lord's Day.

* Have I deliberately missed Mass on Sundays or Holy Days of Obligation?
* Have I tried to observe Sunday as a family day and a day of rest?
* Do I do needless work on Sunday?

[4] Honor your Father and your Mother.

* Do I honor and obey my parents?
* Have I neglected my duties to my spouse and children?
* Have I given my family good religious example?
* Do I try to bring peace into my home life?
* Do I care for my aged and infirm relatives?

[5] You shall not kill.

* Have I had an abortion or encouraged anyone to have an abortion?
* Have I physically harmed anyone?
* have I abused alcohol or drugs?
* Did I give scandal to anyone, thereby leading them into sin?
* Have I been angry or resentful?
* Have I harbored hatred in my heart?
* Have I mutilated myself through any form of sterilization?
* Have I encouraged or condoned sterilization?

[6] You shall not commit adultery.

* Have I been faithful to my marriage vows in thought and action?
* Have I engaged in any sexual activity outside of marriage?
* Has each sexual act in my marriage been open to the transmission of new life?
* Have I sought to control my thoughts?

[7] You shall not steal.

* Have I stolen what is not mine?
* Have I returned or made restitution for what I have stolen?
* Do I waste time at work, school or at home?
* Do I gamble excessively, thereby denying my family of their needs?
* Do I pay my debts promptly?
* Do I seek to share what I have with the poor?

[8] You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.

* Have I lied?
* Have I gossiped?
* Have I spoken behind someone else's back?
* Am I sincere in my dealings with others?
* Am I critical, negative or uncharitable in my thoughts of others?
* Do I keep secret what should be kept confidential?

[9] You shall not desire your neighbor's wife.

* Have I consented to impure thoughts?
* Have I caused them by impure reading, movies, conversations or curiosity?
* Do I seek to control my imagination?
* Do I pray at once to banish impure thoughts and temptations?

[10] You shall not desire your neighbor's goods.

* Am I jealous of what other people have?
* Do I envy the families or possessions of others?
* Am I greedy or selfish?
* Are material possessions the purpose of my life?
* Do I trust that God will care for all of my material and spiritual needs?

After reading through this examination it's easy to see that there are a lot of things to consider before reconciling. There is more to it than 'Did I murder anyone?' or 'Did I commit Adultery'. Even having hate in the heart or thinking of comminting adulterous acts are considered a sin as well. I hope this will help this Advent as we all take time to Reconcile before Christmas.